The condemned

2011-10-25T18:24:00.002+08:00

Didn't expect to break what I last said.

It has been over a year since then. The resentment took this long to subside.

Seeing a reply on a friend's wall post made me thought about myself, and it made me reflected deeply on myself one day when I was on the way home.

Rather than be in control of my emotions, I had let my emotions get a hold on me many a times. Most strongly in '04 and '05, ended up lashing out at you for something stupid. It was ridiculously frustrating to not have SMSes answered when I just wanted to start small talk or after replying when asking for your PoV regarding that matter about 1 of my recruit having very much trouble trying to cope with BMT. Then somehow it came back again last year (the post before this) and that was the last straw, as the resentment was overbearing - made me really not wanting to have anything to do with you.

As mentioned, somehow all it took was just that 1 post on Facebook to make me reflected on myself - which brings me forth to writing this post.

Because of everything, I must have come across as giving a very bad impression of myself. I failed to keep a check on my emotions and done very stupid things. Things which was never your fault to begin with - and still you decided to be the better person by apologising, and by behaving rashly, must have caused you want to get away from me out of fear or something. For everything I have done, I am sorry to have caused you all these troubles for so many years. I became a person that I did not want to have become towards you.

Even having said that however, I believe the damage I had done is too great that it is irreversible. Ultimately I believe our ties is best kept this way so that we can move on.

If you have read this post (I hope you know who you are), all I ask for is your forgiveness and a discrete acknowledge somehow.

My mind and heart is now at peace. Let this blog remain a lesson for myself to remind myself to keep myself in line.

2010-09-15T01:34:00.002+08:00

Looking back these past 6 years, there has been many ups and many, lots of fluctuation, my mood swings, especially that 1 time, which up till today, I regret. Most important of all, my failure to matter more to you than before. If anything, it has reduced to a weak pulse, which just refuses to die. Each time I tried to kill it, I thought it will be gone for good, but no matter what, it will somehow crawl back to my heart, no matter how long it takes, be it days, weeks, even months. Longest I have managed to kill that feeling and distance myself away from thinking of you is for 9 months, but then eventually it got to me again, just like a child who takes his toys for granted. throwing it away, only to want it back again.

But it has been too long. I need to move on. My heart has sort of been living in the past for the past 6 years, every attempt to forget/replace you in my heart just thwarted with little effort, regardless of the cause. But I can't... I just can't...

These past 6 years has also already dried up my well of tears - I can no longer cry even if I wanted to. The ability to feel emotional hurt is long gone, unsure whether if it will ever return. It is torturous that there is no way out of this and having to accumulate this strain my heart.

Perhaps I have been living a life of denial. I'm certain that I will never matter any more than how things has been all these years, stagnant. Closest I have gotten to is probably being at the back of your mind. Even then, this bit will continue to shrink as life goes on. I am glad, however, that you are living your life well and to the fullest.

I'm not surprised though, you have enough suitors to wrap around the world twice, and me? I am and probably will be nothing more than the unpopular guy who's always viewed at disgustingly like an abomination that should never have existed in the first place. Just like the saying "Toad going after a Swan's flesh." Don't think that is true? My primary/secondary school life says otherwise.

How do I move on? Do I have to do something to make you scorn me, in order to force myself to put this to its long-due eternal rest? Do I have to completely cut off all forms of communications from you? This weakly burning candle flame needs to be put out, and then put down, for good.

If I manage to pull this off, there will never be any attempts of me breaking your peace or your friends', and this will be my final goodbye to you. I am thankful for all the things you have helped me, and I can only hope that I have helped you enough, if not more than so. Congratulations for being the only person to steal my heart for such a long period of time.

This is my final post on this blog, not going to touch it for years to come.

2010-08-31T01:16:00.002+08:00

I will not get caught up with the rat race...
I must not get caught up with the rat race.

2010-08-28T20:51:00.002+08:00

Note to self, stopped at:

http://www.bittersweetcandybowl.com/c42/p16.html

2010-08-12T09:20:00.000+08:00

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

[CENTER][IMG]http://www.wizards.com/magic/images/whatcolor_isblue.jpg[/IMG][URL=http://www.wizards.com/magic/playmagic/whatcolorareyou.asp][B]Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.[/B][/URL][/CENTER]

2010-07-27T20:03:00.000+08:00

http://thetubestore.com/12ax7review.html

Blackstar pedals has crap tubes.... ought to change them out.

Project Bad Horsie Plus

2010-07-23T09:44:00.004+08:00

Mods for BH2 (Reference for myself)

http://www.morleypedals.com/vai-2es.pdf?bcsi_scan_31299AF6BF590075=0&bcsi_scan_filename=vai-2es.pdf

C9 - Center Frequency of Wah, also works in tandem with Lf
R15 - Determines Q
C5 or C7? - Cin. Determines Lows.
R12 - Determine Input Vol, too low = tone suck.
C25 - Cbp, From 4.7uF on up, little effect on sound. As it gets smaller, the sound becomes more of a loudness variation and less of a wah. If this cap is defective, wah pedals sound like volume pedals.
R22 - Rc2
R23 - Re2

http://www.geofex.com/article_folders/wahpedl/wahped.htm?bcsi_scan_31299AF6BF590075=0&bcsi_scan_filename=wahped.htm#basicmod

Also to look up on:
http://www.rpelectronics.com/rpr-1501a3-p5-ac-dc-adapter-15vdc-1-3a.html
http://www.officebeyond.com/da15006an.html
http://www.performanceaudio.com/cgi/product_view.cgi?products_id=13324

Powering guitar effects with higher voltage (as long as the components is capable of operating at such voltage) leads to higher headroom as well as lower noise.

2010-06-21T22:48:00.001+08:00

Shopping List:
-Blackstar 2x12 Artisan Cab - SGD 750
-EHX 22 Caliber - SGD 175 or get EHX 44 Magnum (coming soon)
-ABY Box - Latching/Momentary (Custom Box)

This Q4 is going to be expensive. But my sound will take a huge leap.

Oh, and did I mention my 7 is ready to take on the world? Major upgrades are done. Heh. Need to do recording when time permits. Need work done on my White 6 to make it a better player.

2010-03-28T14:37:00.003+08:00

2245, March 27

When I opened the package, guitarists across the world felt a disturbance in the force.....

Coming soon...

====================

Random post:
I look back at my past (secondary school life to be exact), reminisced and I looked at pictures of her..... True, quite cute, but other than that, how on earth did I take a huge liking to such a person? -.-

2010-03-15T23:01:00.002+08:00

It has been 2 weeks since I ordered my upgrade for the guitar, no changes in Track & Confirm, stuck at "electronic info received"..... This is getting worrying, SGD$500 for something which means a lot to me..... I'm hoping things will work out right in the end, and I shall be 1 of the very few owners of a truly versatile 7 String Ibanez Guitar within Singapore...... Most probably will motivate me to get even more creative with my guitar playing.

I have bigger plans in my head with regards to lots of things, and I'm getting kinda excited to want to get them in motion too...

Also, I'm a bit down about how my finger dexterity and my ability to put theory into use has been stagnant since entering NS..... it's kinda depressing really, for someone who really wants to dedicate himself to music.....

4TH batch has come in and my 1st batch specs are coming in.... this must be the signs that my ORD is getting nearer.... Heh.

2010-03-05T16:42:00.000+08:00

Been having a very short fuse as of late, I don't really know why...

2010-01-31T15:33:00.002+08:00

"When in doubt, break glass and activate Xelima weapon"
-CPT. M4rksman, Band Of Brothers

2010-01-12T21:12:00.001+08:00

Lets see what has happened in 09
-Started playing Helbreath again
-Graduated from SISPEC as a 3SG
-Posted to BMTC as Instructor
-Re-establish contact with a primary school friend
-Allowance increment for NCO/specialists
-Maxed Helbreath Character Level

However, 09 ended and 10 started very unpleasantly and has utterly destroyed my belief and crushed my motivation to do a lot of things...

Is suffering in silence my fate? Is it my choice to suffer in silence?

I'm really tired mentally.

2009-12-06T18:54:00.000+08:00

Finished 42.195km. Hoo-ah.

2009-11-21T09:03:00.000+08:00

Laws of assassination number one: Conceal yourself in darkness. Still your breath. Seek a path to your target

Laws of assassination number two: Know your target. Be able to guess your opponent's thoughts, his/her movements.

Laws of assassination number three: Defeat your target before he/she becomes aware of your existence

2009-11-16T16:55:00.002+08:00

Im glad what I've mentioned in the previous post has been resolved...

*************

On a different topic, life seems so freaking boring now..... Dont even have the urge to take out my axe atm... Things just seemed to have meant their dead end, loss of excitement about life, no idea why.....

2009-11-07T12:58:00.003+08:00

Okay, if I'm reading that right and come to the correct conclusion regarding your blog's latest post in that it's indeed a response to my post dated 061009, I assure you that post is definitely not aimed at you nor the group itself.....

Well, granted that things have had soured somehow in regards to the failed attempts of outing, this kinda thing is too trival for me to make such a big deal out of. So just relax yea...

There IS a need to get something done about this though. As a result of what has happened, I'm kinda tired and do not want to organise any outings for the group anymore. At the same time, I do not want this group to be split up at all.

If it's not aimed at what I mentioned, well, good.

Chill =)

Prayer of Salvation

2009-10-26T16:55:00.003+08:00

"I looked at the one who knows me the best, the shape his family and himself are in.....

His family, deeply troubled by financial issues, his dad, plagued by poor health and kidney failure, his mum, not able to be there for him and his sisters' children as much as how it should have been for a normal person, his nephew's uprising which resulted in poor performance in school, and the constant... David vs Goliath challenge he faces in his everyday life.

And I am asking on behalf of him, that things will take a better turn, so that he can once again, live like a normal person, instead of having to get tormented as each day goes by. It really pains me to see him in such a state and that I cannot help him as much as I'd like to do so...

I ask that, maybe even to the point of beg, no matter what happens, please do free my friend's life and show him and his family an opening to salvation... Please let him be happy, for without him, I would not have been who I am today, possibly potentially ending up like most youth nowadays; ignorant, unethical,shallow,even tainted... if not for him, I would not have had the inner strength to take on the challenge of going to Command School and passing out as a Specialist."

2009-10-06T22:18:00.009+08:00

Slowly getting used to the new batch.... more unique blend of trainees. Generally speaking more diligent with training, but needs more guidance. I'm also quite happy with the progress of my last batch at SISPEC. I'm hoping they'll far surpass my level and become excellent commanders. I look forward to your Graduation parade in 5 months time, or for Zihao/Syakirin/assorted others in OCS, I look forward to witness your commissioning (while I'll be in a polo shirt that says "50th ASLC" in front, and "ORD LOH!!" at the back... LOL!)

Anger Post

Seriously... is this how much I am worth to you guys as a friend? Or am I never your friend, just an acquaintance to begin with? Why is it that I am always forgotten, not even at the back of your minds? Is my existance so minute, or rather, so unrecognised that people cant bother to catch up with me? Answering my attempts to catch up as if they're just following motion, and then probably secretly hoping that I won't bother them on the other side of the communication? Does it tickle you or entertain you to watch me suffer in silence or be the one that is put aside umpteen times? Or oh hey, I got a better one, do you guys actually remember who I am in the first place?

I don't really care if I look like an attention whore or something at the moment. I think anyone would blow up after being subjected to extended period of deliberate/unintentional ignorance/indifference (indifference is probably a better term) towards the subject.

ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING DONE WITH YOUR SICK TWISTED MANIFESTION OF A JOKE YET, HUH?!

How many of you think it's fun to get through life as a loner huh?

This also goes out to the millions of you hypocrites or whatever you guys would call them as well..... You think it's enjoyable to be subjected to being forgotten by friends whom you were supposed to be the bestest of? You may think "oh, but life goes on. Suck it up, this is life for you", but you ever thought about how much you meant to them, how much your little words of encouragement or little chatter could actually mean a shitload more than you thought to them? Go and look in the mirror and see how much of a friend or a trash you are.

I hope bringing this matter up would make me feel less bottled up. And it feels kinda relieving to start unleashing vulgar for the first time on blog ever since it's been up... Sucks to maintain civil patience or safe-for-children content...

Know what? Probably can also forget about having any people react to this, because apparently, the targeted audience just doesn't care enough to read in the first place.

2009-09-21T21:58:00.002+08:00

Well old batch has passed out, and in with the new batch..... I'm going to miss my 1st batch. A fun bunch.

7 SISPEC 1 OCS 1 SAR 1 Naval Medic..... Not bad not bad. Go and do your best, make me proud.

That said, I'm not very happy with this current batch (the other sections anyway). Let's hope this batch is as good as you guys.

Other stuff:
I'm sick of being left alone in the lurch by most of my peers just like that, either displaced from or not having a place in the heart of most others. Receiving help and not showing gratitude/appreciation. Things has been this way for the past decade. Do not treat me like I am a fool, for I'll bare my fangs at you in defense when cornered.

I should start making myself not give a flying ---- about them ever again no matter how dire in need of help they need.

2009-09-10T09:36:00.002+08:00

My first batch just passed out.....

I'm already starting to miss my own section.... A bunch of cool people with a cohesive mindset, strong teamwork and camadarie. The willingness to work together. I'm also very happy to see the lot of them become so much stronger physically, hitting 4 silvers and 4 passes (unfortunately, 3 guys were only just very close to their silvers..... imagine if I had 7 silvers in a 10-men section.... it sounds like an incredible achievements). Some of them even surpassed my IPPT fitness (Zihao, you can still hit gold, don't waste it, I'm thinking my best too)

You guys, even though you have just passed out and is no longer in Q Coy, my stand is that, you guys will forever be my Section 4, and hope that we meet up often in the future.

Know this, however, this is just the beginning. Go rest and play hard during the bloc leave, but don't forget to train a bit here and there, esp my potential 3 silvers. =)

Signed,
a 3SG Loh that is very proud of his section

2009-08-28T20:06:00.002+08:00

Bad weekend...

Being in a bad mood for the latter part of the week...

Never mind the occasion saturday duty, but sunday I still got to cover book-in duty...

Make me have to book in at 4PM-ish instead of taking last ferry. #$%^ I'm disappointed by the fact that he did not sort his issues out sooner. It's enough that my weekend is burnt, and he has to rub salt this way..... Moreover, seeing that bit of selfish-ness a few days back really ticked me off, and was the ultimate deciding factor for me initially not letting him have his way. However, one of the more experienced fellow sergeant in my platoon made his point, and guess after considering for a while, I also somewhat stood down.

I book out, say bye to another fellow commander, he oso then dao me liddat.

Im still feeling injustified, dejected, and ticked off. It even got to the point where I ponder if I should have decided to go to SISPEC in the 1st place..... Responsibilities and stuff is good for you, but I'm just feeling dam sian now.

Weeks flew by, and the recruits are POP-ing soon.... I look forward to seeing them become fellow commanders, especially those under my section (REC Yongjie, if your reading this, let me remind you, PASS YOUR PULL-UP!!! I have faith in you!)

NS has really handicapped part of my social life... I really want to start going out with friends to catch up with them again..... Yet, I wonder if in some cases, I'm still part of their life or not, and whether I'm welcome in as part of it or not. It disturbs me. These kind of thoughts endlessly feedbacked in my head, never ceasing, and seemingly refuses to go away..... I want to reaffirm the ties with everyone I know.

Even more wonderable is how I just don't seem to have a birthday wish, and it took me a while to realise it.

Oh wait, I do have 1, but it's unrealistic as hell..... I wish I have my own bedroom, my own private space.

Signing out,
a Troubled 3SG Loh

2009-08-20T18:54:00.002+08:00

Well looks like I just hit the big 21.....

It had been a somewhat rough/irritable/unhappy/other unhappy terms week for me. And perhaps that may have been a playing factor that triggered me to put a message coated full of negativity, something uncalled for, as part of my MSN nick.

I took a nap shortly after returning back home, woke up and having feel much better, regaining stability to how I think, I thought through what I did, and am somewhat embarassed at my actions, especially for someone of my age group.

I want to thank all the friends who have greeted me a Happy 21st so far, just want to say that I really appreciate it a lot..... Assomeone who doesn't have a big group of friends or many close friends, the effect of just greetings from the few closer friends could jolly well have the effect/meaning multiplied to the magnitude of that of hundreds who would care for one who has a lot of close friends.

Having said this, I really need to put a stop to this.. I should learn how to stop behaving rashly, stop behaving immaturely. With that I apologise again, and hopefully *cross fingers* I stop the tendency to react this way again.

Alright, now lets drop this...

On a lighter-hearted note, any ideas as to how to celebrate? After all, big 21 only comes once in a life, and it would be good to make it count. =)

Interesting Music stuff

2009-08-18T20:10:00.001+08:00

About Key Colour
"Key colour" is absent in equal temperament . As all its intervals are equal, the blend of intervals is the same in every key, so all keys sound alike. "Key colour" is a feature of temperaments with unequal intervals, like Meantone and Well Temper. Before equal temperament came along in the mid 19th century, "Key Colour" - also known as "Key Character", or, in German, "Affekt" - was a familiar and generally accepted part of musical expression.

"By Beethoven's day, the concept of "Key Character" (in which different keys conveyed specific emotional meanings), was much refined. A widely read and influential list of keys and their affective qualities, written by Christian Friedrich Daniel Schubart and published posthumously in 1806, contained the fashionable descriptions for all major and minor keys." from "Six Degrees Of Tonality - The Well Tempered Piano" by Edward Foote.

AFFECTIVE KEY CHARACTERISTICS
from Christian Schubart's Ideen zu einer Aesthetik der Tonkunst (1806)

C Major
Completely Pure. Its character is: innocence, simplicity, naïvety, children's talk.

C Minor
Declaration of love and at the same time the lament of unhappy love. All languishing, longing, sighing of the love-sick soul lies in this key.

Db Major
A leering key, degenerating into grief and rapture. It cannot laugh, but it can smile; it cannot howl, but it can at least grimace its crying.--Consequently only unusual characters and feelings can be brought out in this key.

C# Minor
Penitential lamentation, intimate conversation with God, the friend and help-meet of life; sighs of disappointed friendship and love lie in its radius.

D Major
The key of triumph, of Hallejuahs, of war-cries, of victory-rejoicing. Thus, the inviting symphonies, the marches, holiday songs and heaven-rejoicing choruses are set in this key.

D Minor
Melancholy womanliness, the spleen and humours brood.

Eb Major
The key of love, of devotion, of intimate conversation with God.

D# Minor
Feelings of the anxiety of the soul's deepest distress, of brooding despair, of blackest depresssion, of the most gloomy condition of the soul. Every fear, every hesitation of the shuddering heart, breathes out of horrible D# minor. If ghosts could speak, their speech would approximate this key.

E Major
Noisy shouts of joy, laughing pleasure and not yet complete, full delight lies in E Major.

E minor
Naïve, womanly innocent declaration of love, lament without grumbling; sighs accompanied by few tears; this key speaks of the imminent hope of resolving in the pure happiness of C major.

F Major
Complaisance & Calm.

F Minor
Deep depression, funereal lament, groans of misery and longing for the grave.

F# Major
Triumph over difficulty, free sigh of relief utered when hurdles are surmounted; echo of a soul which has fiercely struggled and finally conquered lies in all uses of this key.

F# Minor
A gloomy key: it tugs at passion as a dog biting a dress. Resentment and discontent are its language.

G Major
Everything rustic, idyllic and lyrical, every calm and satisfied passion, every tender gratitude for true friendship and faithful love,--in a word every gentle and peaceful emotion of the heart is correctly expressed by this key.

G Minor
Discontent, uneasiness, worry about a failed scheme; bad-tempered gnashing of teeth; in a word: resentment and dislike.

Ab Major
Key of the grave. Death, grave, putrefaction, judgment, eternity lie in its radius.

Ab Minor
Grumbler, heart squeezed until it suffocates; wailing lament, difficult struggle; in a word, the color of this key is everything struggling with difficulty.

A Major
This key includes declarations of innocent love, satisfaction with one's state of affairs; hope of seeing one's beloved again when parting; youthful cheerfulness and trust in God.

A minor
Pious womanliness and tenderness of character.

Bb Major
Cheerful love, clear conscience, hope aspiration for a better world.

Bb minor
A quaint creature, often dressed in the garment of night. It is somewhat surly and very seldom takes on a pleasant countenance. Mocking God and the world; discontented with itself and with everything; preparation for suicide sounds in this key.

B Major
Strongly coloured, announcing wild passions, composed from the most glaring colours. Anger, rage, jealousy, fury, despair and every burden of the heart lies in its sphere.

B Minor
This is as it were the key of patience, of calm awaiting ones's fate and of submission to divine dispensation.

Translated by Rita Steblin in A History of Key Characteristics in the 18th and Early 19th Centuries. UMI Research Press (1983).

Plagiarised from various (acknowledged) sources by Paul Guy

2009-08-05T21:50:00.002+08:00

Recruits are back from field camp.... SIT Test on the 11th....

I've managed to claim my off for 20th n 21st hahaha.... long weekend man :)

AHM on the 16th...

Reviewing what stuff I can get to further expand my guitarplaying...

-Ibanez Toneblaster X 150H Head
-R412XL Angled Cabinet to go with it

Yep, thats right... if things goes well, one may look forward to seeing a halfstack in my room. =)

6 weeks

2009-07-22T23:30:00.003+08:00

And the recruits are going to field camp this sunday..... Hope they'll do everything kilat... so as to minimise their tekan sessions....

I just finished running 21km on my own...... freaking tiring man... struggling at 16km already hahaha..... Finish clocked at 2hr 15min..... Condition: Night-time. At this rate, I wont be able to go through Standard Chartered Full Marathon man.... I need to buck up.

Hmmmm I dont have much to post, but I swear last night I had the most beautiful dream I ever had so far... But whether it gets any chances to become a reality remains to be seen... If it does I swear I'll do everything kilat kilat for the rest of my life for it'll be the best thing to happen to my life.

1 more pic of Lucky 7!
See any diffs?

Transformed into a mean machine. I'm lovin' it.

4 weeks as a Quebec SectComm

2009-07-09T23:33:00.002+08:00

There are ups and downs, but recently it has been pretty down for me...

Constantly have my weekend burnt by duties..... still nvm, but then expecting a nice weekend to relac then *poom*, a saturday guard duty came out of nowhere..... I am not very pleased with these kind of arrangement being done so suddenly, and am in a very poor state of well-being... being deprived of a full weekend twice in a row is tbh rather uncalled for.... hopefully things improve in the month of August and they do not burn my plan of enjoying my planned 3-days of leave.

Other issues are also amidst in my mind..... I feel isolated and distant from all but my truly closest of all..... I am thankful for their support so far, but I still wish more people, specially those who's not as close to communicate with me from time to time... I do not know if I'm a friend in their eyes otherwise, and with everything adding on together, it leaves a dark and very distasteful, very unpleasant feeling in me. Some nights, these thoughts kept bothering me, lingering in my heart, and the only relief seems to be heaving sighs once in a while to let it out. Sounds weird, but I dunno if it's because of not having a S.O. that will share our feelings or whatsoever..... haha, maybe I'm talking nonsense now?

On a higher note, Lucky 7 is back in action with Dimarzio pickups =)

Next up, I'll be trying to get my hands on Elixir strings for the 7.

Elixir strings FTW!

Thoughts

2009-06-16T20:15:00.003+08:00

Oooooohhhh recruits come in liao hahaha.....

And it's so coincidental I got to meet a primary school classmate who I lost contact w/ for the past 8years++..... I was pretty amazed he was in contact w/ so many of my primary school classmates even then..... I learnt quite a number of things from him, and 1 of which is very unfortunate and tragic.....

It was on the news I heard.... Hong Jun Jie passed on from a motorbike accident in Yishun vicinity..... Left me shocked, and that one shd really live life to the fullest while they still can...

And so, this has given me an urge to want to get back in contact with my P5/6 classmates fast... hmm.....

Recently, I've been wondering abt my 21st birthday..... as lots of us know, it's sort of tradition that one's 21st is a big event, sort of like one has come of age...

I wandered into my mind, and then realised I dont have many friends to celebrate such, unlike most of us in this age who is able to celebrate with literally a throng of friends.... Even though I'm one to emphasize greatly on mutual friendship with several friend instead of broad circle of casual friends, it still feels kind of sad, maybe even pathetic...

How shd I celebrate?

15 months to ORD...

Regards,
3SG Loh Jieshen

3SG Loh finally updating blog

2009-06-09T22:06:00.002+08:00

Okok guys, it's been ages since I last touched blog.... hurhur....

A lot has happened:
-Got in SISPEC
-Graduated from SISPEC BSLC
-Got into ASLC, Charlie Coy no less
-3 BSLC mate who got in my section OOC-ed due to injury, somewhat leaving me in the lurch
-Struggled throughout the course due to training, and platoonmates, mostly platoonmates
-Went through multiple outfields, struggled horribly throughout Grand Slam II
-Keep having trouble passing SOC
-Flew off to Crescendo and came back in 1 piece.
-Finally passed SOC
-Passed out and got my 3-stripes (unfortunately, there's just noone who I wanted to invite to stick my 3-stripes on thats free that day)
-Got fatter by 6kg
-Went through Commander Prep Course and managed to stick to my BMT mates and BSLC mates, as well as meet a few new faces, which made my remaining 2 wks worth of stay in SISPEC a smooth one, a vast contrast to what I experienced through ASLC.
-Last but not least, making a full circle, and now I'm back in BMTC, as a Section Commander (woohoo fat-allowance!!!).

A new challenge awaits, and only by overcoming it, will I be able to grow.

Side-note, I wish I could have done more to help or cheer a friend of mine up in regards to a recent incident..... Take care ya.. We are always there for you.

2009-04-04T18:42:00.002+08:00

Left with only a single direction to head forward to
Filled with obstacles so mentally-destructive, overwhelmingly physically demanding
And yet
All other pathways closed down
Backed down and tried to escape
Yet the only way out and away is likewise closed down before me
Left with only an option
And that is to continue towards the only direction opened
Baring my fangs and showing a facade of one thats no pushover

The next 5-6 weeks will be the toughest moment of my life, not counting my secondary school life...

Friends, I really need all the encouragement and help I can get to get past my remaining half of ASLC, as without it, I am certain that I will not be able to take the pressure, both from training and from unwelcoming sectionmates, mostly the latter..... Please contact me. Even a listening ear would be good enough..... Please...

ASLC Charlie

2009-03-23T11:19:00.000+08:00

... Is a mental torture for me..... I want to get out of here...

NGD (New Guitar Day)!!!

2009-01-31T18:44:00.003+08:00

Finally got my 7-string...

I think I'll call her "Lucky 7"

Alone

2009-01-26T00:01:00.001+08:00

As time goes by, I realise that bonds between friends, regardless when/where I've gotten to know them, are starting to drift apart... Reminiscence of my secondary school life rung and echo-ed thru my mind...

2009-01-01T17:58:00.002+08:00

Specialist Cadet (SCt for short) Loh wishes everyone a Happy New Year and a smooth sailing year ahead.

6.5 weeks to BSLC POP. =)

2008-12-21T22:17:00.003+08:00

Well, Bloc leave is finally over, and tomorrow I'll be booking in again.....

For those who didnt know, I got in SISPEC (School of Infantry Specialist). Wish me all the best...

I'm having problems falling asleep now =(

Different topic.....

I don't really have any New Year Resolution... or do I?

Hmmm, some that I can wack onto my blog:
-Get better at guitar
-Try to compose a few songs
-Possibly upsize my amplifer
-Possibly review my rig
-Possibly acquire 1 or 2 more guitars: a seven-string and a six-string that strictly meant for alternate tuning.
-Possibly get a BYOC Pedal DIY Kit and successfully build one.

I have a big dream (and it is related to guitar/music).
-Compose songs
-Build Guitars with a friend
-Start a guitar-maintenance business with a friend
-Build Guitar Stompboxes
-Maybe ultimately even expand upon the abovementioned business

Big, no? :)

2008-11-22T06:56:00.001+08:00

2 weeks 4 days to POP!!!

Anyone wanna go out during bloc leave?

2008-11-02T11:42:00.002+08:00

It has been 7 weeks since the start of BMT..... I'm going outfield again in a few days, returning on saturday evening I believe.

Im mentally fatigued and drained, and there are few people that's around for me... everyone being busy with their own stuff and moving on... Heart feeling as heavy as an anvil..... Anxiety, fear and stress reaching its climax soon... I dont want to get charged/punished...... Save me.....

2008-09-27T21:02:00.002+08:00

Hey all I'm back..... but I'll be booking in tomorrow at 2010 at Pasir Ris Bus Interchange.... still got quite a number of things to settle so I can't take things slow...... Having a fever doesn't help either. But Im glad Im being told to book in as per normal......

First 2 weeks in army and I realised I've changed..... seems like my mentality has become stronger...

Lets hope the rest of the week passes by smoothly... =)

I miss you all, friends...

2008-09-12T01:39:00.003+08:00

35 hours to Tekongland as I key in this entry...

First thing I'll like to say is, THANKS TO MY COLLEAGUES FOR CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY EVEN THOUGH IT'S ALREADY OVER!!! It was really sweet and thoughtful of you guys to do that for me!

I think a good number of people just find it a very usual thing and brush it off, but for me right, throughout my life, people rarely get me a birthday present, or even wish me a happy birthday (save for my parents). Thats why I have the tendency to want to show that I really appreciate what they all did for me.

How this went:
Last sunday, I went out with my colleagues for prawn-fishing and dinner. Met up with Zhirong, YY, David, Alex, Jessica, Ahma Chong, and Renee during noon at Aljunied; Huishan could only meet us during evening.When everyone was there (haiz, why ar always you de, renee? lol), we boarded a bus to get to the place.

Each hour per rod costed $15, 2 hours for $25, and 3 hours for #30, so naturally we just took the 3 hours de lor.... there were 8 of us, and we rented 4 rods..... then we got started...

Guess what? I actually got our first catch of the day! I was quite surprised la.... I mean, I've never fished b4 leh... haha think Jessica was the second person to catch the prawn... Eventually, we caught roughly 20+ prawns, half of which are smaller ones..... Lady Boss ask if we wanna take it away or eat it at the store, and we decided to eat at store lo..... Munfoong arrived when we started cooking them.

Sigh, it pains me to watch the prawns getting cooked alive, honestly..... just wanna say that I'm sorry that we're all doing this to you..... but what to do?

Prawns were quite nice.... we shared among each other lor.... okok la, not bad leh....

Munfoong then asked me when's my bday when we tocuhed on topic of Huishan's birthday.... said mine was at 20/8, then nearly nobody wished me happy bday (ya la, bixia, your the only one who wished me happy bday lol...)

Later on, we headed down to bugis. As we left the area and take the bus, we bid Jessica farewell as she's heading home and has a direct bus back to her place (which btw, is VERY OMFG NICE!). Jiawen had to meet her friend or something at bugis, so we bid her farewell.

We set out to get Huishan's present and cake, and split up in 2 groups; David, zhirong, me 1 group, munfoong, renee, alex, yy another group.... our group was responsible for finding cake...

We were searching for the cake when we passed up JCo, and then David had the most brillant birthday surprise; also buy 2 donuts, then present 1 by 1 to her individually, with birthday candle on it. First one presented will already have a bite taken off it lol. Then present the cake!!
Cool huh?

We decided to have Steamboat at Bugis for dinner..... not sure what store it was, but it was a 5 min walk from Bugis Junction. David went to fetch Huishan while the rest of us headed there to get ourselves a place.

So ya, we settled down and started having our dinner..... it was nice and thats how I just wanna put it.... Nice save for it being a little heaty despite being in the air-con area... lol.

So ya, halfway through dinner, we proceeded with our plan, and took the donut/s to her.... Haha, seems that she really thought that was hw we were gg 2 celebrate it for real..... also, her reaction was kinda funny when she realised the first donut had already been eaten wahhahaa....

So ya la, later we presented the birthday cake..... Sang the birthday song twice (first time when we present donut) It was quite nice haha...

Then quoting David, "since we got so many surprises today, right, y nt we hav another surprise, so let's sing a birthday song to Jieshen?" In that moment, I was like "Huh?????" kinda stunted.... ok that was a lie, I was compeltely stunted! 0.0

They also presented me a cap for my birthday present..... just wanna say it was really nice of you guys la... =) Thanks, thanks, and thanks!

Also, I wanna greet Huishan Happy birthday in advance (we celebrated her birthday in advance; her bday is 15 sept... reminds of a certain someone who I vowed never to want to see again)!!

2008-09-06T16:15:00.002+08:00

1 week till I enter hell as I blog at the moment...

While I'm not physically prepared.... I believe that with proper mental discipline and preparation, I'll be able to endure the tough times ahead.

I look back, and have now realise who's truly there for me, and who's not.

Few years back, I've made the resolve to change myself to be a nicer person towards everyone. But the reason for that is no longer valid, so likewise the resolve is too.

I am done being nice to people. Most don't appreciate and hence don't deserve it. Show the world your not to be trampled on. Show the world you are not to be taken lightly.

"Normal friends forget you once they found better ones. Hence they dont deserve to be called friends."

Feelings locked inside my mind, not to be opened for the next 2 years.

Goodbye people (if there are actually people who still reads.)

Another update

2008-08-02T19:24:00.003+08:00

Since the last outing blogged at, my colleagues and I have went to the zoo, and also hanged out in town twice.

We went to celebrate Renee's birthday (in advance)... I'm glad to see that she enjoyed what we've done (although I really never done much). It was an utter surprise that Zhirong even baked her cookies 0.o So freaking cool right? Hopefully the next outing turns out well. See you all on the 12th!

Otoh, it makes me realise..... realise that my 20th birthday will probably be a cold one...... Everyone will be busy, and I'll be on my own again. Just like old times. Since I've survived the old times, there is no reason for me to not be able to pull through all this rubbish right? Honestly I dunno.

Things changed a lot this year...... I've met a whole new bunch of people who I love to chill with, I also finally earned some decent cash...... Graduation and my classmates all going in seperate directions. And lastly, getting treated like shit and then thrown away just like that.

I fucking hate it when people put up a false front, it disgusts me. May they have their true colors revealed once and for all, and they get what they truly deserved.

Otoh, people who has been loyal friends, I swear to treasure you all.

For those cowards and hypocrites:
Eat my ass and balls.

I swear man, things has never been at such a low point for me since 3 years ago.

BBQ outing

2008-07-02T00:11:00.004+08:00

The BBQ wasn't a complete success, but I still managed to get it through. =) Unfortunately the night-cycling plan was dropped. Oh well, there's always a next time...

Met my colleagues at Bedok to get the foodstuffs for the BBQ... I was pretty amazed that Zhirong offered to take us to Pasir Ris Park in his car!

So ya, we got to the BBQ pit, and started to try to BBQ... but when we got the fire up, there was a freaking heavy downpour and our effort got wasted..... it's a good thing that it didn't lasted more than 30 mins.... so quite soon, we got the fire started again, albeit at a different pit lol...

As expected, we couldn't finish the food, particularly the 2 box of chicken wings (you know what to do next time, Y.Y, hahahhaa).

There were only 6 of us, as it just so happened that a lot of us weren't free on that day... But regardless, I'm glad that I still managed to meet up with you all.

It was fun, and funny too..... Renee kept repeatedly getting "suan-ed" by all of us, both girls kept getting freaked out by stray cats (they both happened to be afraid of cats)...

Without further due, let me introduce them =)

2nd pic doesnt show the others very clearly, but the guy in front is David.
1st pic shows the others besides David. (clockwise) Me, Yen Yu(YY), Renee, Melissa, Zhirong.

After the BBQ, we went to chill at a Coffee shop in Simei (we were planning to chill at Starbucks at east point, but they were closed haha)... After which, Zhirong sent us home... =)

Thanks to:
Zhirong, for offering to use the car
David, for helping me with booking of pit
David, Renee, YY, and Zhirong for managing the foodstuff details
And all of you for making the BBQ happen, you guys rocks! =)

Next outing, to the zoo!

2008-06-23T02:32:00.003+08:00

It has been 1 month++ since my last post...

For the past 2 months here's what happened:

I was called up by the company I'm currently working at for this 1-off project. A bizarre, yet interesting thing. They called it Network Audit. Basically a bunch of us were divided into 2 groups (1 group in office, 1 group outside) to chat with each other (each person inside is hooked up with each person outside) on the handphones the company provided, and to judge how good the network is. It is the best paying project I've known of to date. The project is divided in 2.

C'mon man, the rates are killer:
Phase 1:
-$10 for outside (MRT, Expressway)
-$12 for travelling throughout underground stations
-$6 in-office
Phase 2:
-$12 outdoors, starts paying when we leave office, ends when we're back
-$6 indoors, starts paying upon start of 1st location, ends when last location is done.

As a result, I made a bunch of new friends from work, and we've been going out together quite often since.

We've went for Karaoke, went to Minds cafe, went to Sentosa to play, went to East Coast Park to cycle, Kallang for iceskating out of all the things we did. I'm glad that I've manage to know them... Never went out so often before....

Although (forgive the negativity)... somehow under certain situations, I really felt...... distant, isolated.... outcasted........ how should I put it?

As a couple examples:
-Sometimes, nobody bothers listening when I spoke up
-Once, I wasn't asked out for lunch before we were supposed to meet up... Half of them (the bunch I'm more familiar w/ somemore leh) met up for lunch.

I don't know whether it's because I am thinking too much, or that I am too sensitive, but I felt like my heart got grabbed by someone, and crushed... It makes me feel like I should excuse myself from future outings, but at the same time, I want to hang out with them badly. They're good and nice people in general from what I can tell.

I really hope that with time, this solves itself...

Next up, BBQ cum Overnight cycling with them... looking forward to it!

EDIT:
Actually on second thought, I'll let the matter be half-laid to rest... I won't be talking, holding the matter in my mind until you do so, after which I'll drop it completely.....

2008-06-19T14:49:00.001+08:00

Your Birthdate: August 20

You are a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and most people enjoy the ride.

Your mood tends to set the tone of the room, and when you're happy, this is a good thing.

When you get in a dark mood, watch out - it's very hard to get you out of it.

It's sometimes hard for you to cheer up, and your gloom can be contagious.

Your strength: Your warm heart

Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions

Your power color: Black

Your power symbol: Musical note

Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

This is so true.... =\

2008-05-10T16:54:00.003+08:00

A friend once told me, "If people whom you know really thought of you as a friend, they'll initiate to talk to you, even if they didn't need your helping hand." Anyone think it holds true?

Thinking of the number of friends who threw me away, who left me for either one reason or another, or unspecified reasons, left me speechless and dumbfounded. The circumstances atm isnt helping either. It bothers me as to how can there be such people who is capable of doing so, even granted if they're pretty free in their life.

With reference to the above line, I feel that people who I previously had thought of as friends, actually doesn't look at me the same way as I do. I don't feel like they care. My cousin is right... "Friends are people who talk to you, hang out with you, and care for you. Otherwise, they're just acquaintances." He's damn right.

I've honestly no wish to talk to these people atm.

With that, I feel that my life as a whole, is declining to the past. Yes, back when the blog's name is still titled, "The Condemned One".

On another matter... sorry for not getting you a bday present even though you all went ahead to get me 1 =(

I don't think I'll be posting here for a long time.

2008-05-04T00:10:00.002+08:00

My heart, mind, and soul, feels like nothing short of a big mess right now..... I really do not know what I should do... except to just throw everything aside and be alone. Cold.

2008-04-12T19:03:00.002+08:00

Past few days have really gave me some unhappy moment and disappointment, but I'll save that for later post... cos:

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY, BIXIA! =D

Ehhhh hope to have an outing soon, NS coming soon, long time oso nvr see u.. haha.

Update once in a while

2008-03-24T03:06:00.002+08:00

Wow, how long has it been since I've updated? :o

Hmmm, I guess this is how I shall start:
If readers haven't noticed, I changed my playlist to start with a 23-minute epic (epic songs are unusually long songs consisting of multiple parts that pertains to a concept/story) by Dream Theater (click on name to read Wikipedia entry.), called A Change of Seasons. (click on name to read Wikipedia entry about the song).

Readers, do give it a listen and try to understand it even if you usually do not listen to progressive stuff or even non-mainstream stuff. I find it to be a very meaningful song, and I like it so much that I never pass a day without listening to it once.

Of course, it helps if you read the lyrics while listening to the song. =P (Link to lyrics)

Enjoy!

Hmmm at the moment Im thinking about my life... my future..... truth be told, I'm hoping to get married by 26-28 (tink it's quite unlikely though), settle down, yada yada.

Hoping to organise a few outings soon too... rotting at home sia.

Lastly:
Friends, just thought I'll say this... By my personality, I'll be as loyal to friends as possible. They treat me good, I'll try my best treat them likewise, if not better.

To be honest, I'm thinking of giving up on a few friends who utterly disappointed me with how they treated me. I won't name them, but hopefully you know who you are, and if it's a misunderstanding, clear it ASAP. Otherwise, if your aware of it, it goes to show what kind of a person you are.

Now that I realise I'm one of those person who don't really put up a birthday wishlist, my ideal birthday gift is actually not in a physical form; as long as you actually treasure me as a friend, not forget me, and we look out for each other (oh, and maybe... remember to say happy birthday la =x), thats considered a good-enough gift already. I take into great accounts how deep my friendship is with friends. ;)

Of course la, I surely do have some desires for my birthday, but dun worry too much about that, it's up to your own accord.

Take care friends, hope to update soon. Adios~ =)

Post-Final-Year-Last-Paper blues

2008-02-21T19:28:00.002+08:00

I dunno why, but I feel very "sian", and very void inside my heart. I also feel afraid of the future somewhat.... cos I don't know whats going to happen..... as well as the kind of changes to happen... More importantly I'm worried about my future..... what will happen to me? What will happen to my friends? Whether we will still remain close or in contact?

Someone pls ask me out before I go insane from my thoughts =(

Decided minor guitar upgrades

2008-02-12T23:07:00.000+08:00

So yeah it's as follow:

Wiring of a Miniswitch, DPDT 2-way:
Change neck pickup between series/parallel humbucking, takes the place of the unused mini-switch on my guitar.

This will let me have a more even balance of tone between neck and bridge pickup. I'll still have access to a thicker, fatter tone on neck when I need it. Plus I can reduce the treble a little bit more without turning the neck to mud.

2008-02-02T06:12:00.000+08:00

Thanks for keeping my sworn brother from getting into a bigger mess...

Putting that aside...

Upgrades in mind for my RG:
1) Push-pull pot: Neck-on option when position 1 (Bridge) is engaged
Bridge + Neck Pickup voicing. Been very curious as the 2 pickups have different personality. Maybe it could make a good lead tone?

2) Bass-Cut switching option for neck:
For balancing of the tone between neck and bridge pickups

3) Mini-Switch: disconnect tone control from neck (maybe for the single coil as well)
Retains clarity for my neck pickup if I were to tone down the tone-control for the Bridge pickup.

4) Mini-Switch: engage warmer tone.

2008-01-31T01:25:00.000+08:00

I don't understand it..... why must people keep wanting to harm my sworn brother and get him into trouble for things which aint his fault? I feel very hurt right now... the load of schoolwork i have to rush isnt helping....

God, I've rarely, if ever, prayed to you but prayed for the others instead.... I beg of you, please see him through all the obstacle safely.... even if it comes at a cost of 3 years of my lifespan... please do...

2008-01-25T20:03:00.000+08:00

If there was something I could change, it is to avoid becoming friends with one of my friend.

My performance is school is getting significantly hampered by him. When it coms to studying, he's too relaxed. No problem if he doesnt drag anyone into it. But man, I know part of it is my fault, but I feel that the other part of the problem is that he tends to drag people along with him. And as such, under peer pressure, I can't perform my best. It frustrates me even more now that when I think of teaming up with him to do my projects and report. Everything comes in last-minute. In other words, I feel like he's dragging me down along with him.

In terms of friendship, in some aspects he's good and average. But I'm starting to feel that I'm getting controlled by him.

I'm starting to feel very tortured, and I do not know whether I can survive the next 3-4 weeks. I have a shitload of project and report to rush, I've very limited resources, I don't have my own computer, and as if that is not bad enough, I'm getting crushed by negative peer pressure.

It isnt that friendship with him is a bad thing, but I feel that he's made a heavy negative impact on my academic studies and my life. However, I also feel that he has made a significantly good impact in terms of being more sociallable. He is also rather generous.

If I could I really want to not have close ties with him.... it's bad of me to say it, but I can't take it any more. It's just not fair to me. It's really bad of me to say this, but I feel that he's somewhat possessive and selfish. Selfish in that he doesnt think much of the resulting negative impact of his actions to friends, and how he almost always seems to enjoy things first before suffering later. It pains me even more that he's not changing that even in 3rd year.

I don't think I can maintain my GPa of 3 any longer. It WILL drop.

Argh, I don't know what to do.

2008-01-23T10:22:00.000+08:00

On Thursday, 17/1/08, in the midst of the Dream Theater gig, I feel revived...

2007-12-27T02:32:00.001+08:00

Please give me the power to heal and motivate people, the power to bring my friends out of their dark times....

2007-11-25T00:54:00.000+08:00

Get yours today! Before its all sold out...

Short post

2007-11-16T22:38:00.000+08:00

Not feeling well as of late...
-Diarrhoea
-Fever

Fever seems to come and go as it pleases (which is annoying)... I also lost my appetite for food. In addition, when I think of food I feel nauseous.... Do me a favour and don't mention food in front of me.... Hmmm I seem to be recovering slowly though. Thats good.

Other than that....

Alright friends, Zul has a performance on 29th December with ITE Jazz band, so let me know if you want to go with me and support him! Both he and I will appreciate this a lot alright? Cheers~

2007-11-05T00:43:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling down right now...

I feel that virtually everyone out there don't understand me at all... making assumptions of how I am like...

Honestly, I feel very misunderstood....

Ironically,even the person who is my best friend ala sworn brother, appears to no longer be the person who understand the person I am most, contrary to my judgement.

Sinking down into the world of loneliness at the moment..... forgetting what is happiness, and all that remains is dark feelings... But it's okay, I'm used to this feeling already.

I am sorry that I failed to keep my promise... But hope this is temporary, maybe not all is lost yet.

Sometimes, I feel that the world would be a better place if I werent born or if I don't exist.

Short one

2007-10-21T00:50:00.000+08:00

Well school has started le.... so far still okay, but I really like my Medical & Assistive Devices Lecturer, funny chap haha...

Right now, I dunno whats wrong with me, but my mind feels adrift, lost, blank... And it's as though I lost interest/desire in more or less just about everything.

Friends, feel free to tag/call/sms me if you want to talk to me. Although if your going to want me to confide in you, I'll be very appreciative.

Other than that, I think I'd like to say that my blog is going on hiatus as I do not have much interest in blogging at the moment... But feel free to tag as I'll still check by, ya?

An update the day before school reopens

2007-10-07T22:30:00.000+08:00

Hmm, just a rather short post before school reopens...

Im glad to say that situations between me and 1 of my friend is sorted out, and we are talking again.

What has happened within the holidays:
-Replaced my Ibanez Toneblaster with the Ibanez Toneblaster X (a very good amp btw)
-Worked and probably earned about 150? (Still waiting for the cheque)
-Injured myself and is still recovering (but mostly recovered)
-I am still waiting for my coated strings to be shipped in
-The cow got a RG7321
-The cow has finally continued work on his compositions
-The cow performed at a gig at Esplanade
-Been sleeping very late and woke up likewise
-Planned a minor cosmetic addition to Regina Jr.

Mmmm.... school reopens tomorrow, and Im worried as hell that I can't fall asleep later. lol.

Tata. Peace out.

2007-09-28T00:22:00.000+08:00

The feeling is here again.....

Pain... Hatred... Despair... Anger... Sorrow...

Its so hard to control all these emotions... Easy to express, hard to control...

The desire to make people pay dearly for harming me/my friends...

2007-09-19T07:27:00.000+08:00

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b267/M4rksman/
INYOURFACE.jpg

IN YOUR FACE!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!

More to come later, I wrote this in the midst of a morning...

Too sleepy to type lengthily.

Btw try this quiz? haha
http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/

Living Hell

2007-09-01T15:54:00.000+08:00

I'm so unlucky.

Sprained my back on friday around 2am, and now:
-I can't move my right shoulder freely
-Trying to relax my right arm completely hurts me instead
-Sneezing hurts the sprained area
-Getting up from bed/Going to bed hurts and also take me more time.
-Right shoulder feels so stiff and unnatural
-I can't do heavy work.

Please let this living hell be over ASAP.

Outing/Belated birthday celebration

2007-08-27T02:38:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, here I am to blog again.....

First off.... I really really want to express my deepest, most sincere gratitude and thanks from the bottom of my heart to Bixia, Dharfianto, Benson, and Weijie for the outing on 25th!

Secondly I wish my bro Khairul a happy birthday (though sadly, he got a very "nice" form of birthday gift) and thanks for asking me out for the advance birthday hangout... Continue to study hard for your upcoming A's retake bro! No surrender!

Alright, now to further carry on...

24/8 - Khairul's birthday hangout in advance

Went to meet Khairul and his friends at Northpoint at around 6.15 (sorry piaseh for being late lolz)....

So ya, then we went to the dessert store in the block opposite 925 (the part of 925 where the escalator, pet shop and some other stores are at).

His friends ordered Ching Tung and Honey Sea Coconut, Khairul ordered Durian Chendol (i must admit even though I don't take chendol, that sure looked sinful ^^)... I decided to order Chocolate Ice Kacang... boy, it sure was sinful and chocolatey! Only qualm was I wish the chocolatey-ness was throughout the whole mountain of ice instead of being at 1 part of it.... Regardless, I really enjoyed it!

Then later on, after we've finished our dessert and 1 of Khai's friends's girlfriend joined us as well, we went to Starbucks to chill (Thanks for the mineral water! lol)...

Throughout the whole time, we crapped and crapped and crapped (man, Khai, your behaviour is making me scared of NS... LOL) After that we dispersed...

I went home, and later on, went out, have a small dinner at KFC, and waited for Zul and Prata... met up at Mac and slacked there for quite a while (actually Prata was late by 15-30 min i think lol). We talked crap and chilled as per normal and shortly after, went to Zul's place for a while....

We watched Zul screw around in NFS-Carbon and after that Prata watched Naruto. As Zul needs to have his much-needed rest (it was 12+ am then) for his jazz gig (he needs to wake up at 8am), we left quite early in comparison to the norm. Walked prata halfway to his home, bid him farewell at the CC, then went home.

Tried to sleep at earlier (2+) but what time did Yours Truly slept? As expected he couldnt fall asleep till 4+. Hurhur.

25/8 - Outing/Belated birthday celebration

Woke up at 12pm, and went to prepare to go out. Reached cityhall at about 2.22 (?) (nice number btw), and waited... finally met Bixia and Dharfianto 15 minutes later, which shortly after came Benson...

Then on the way to Marina Sq (or was it in Marina Sq), I was really surprised when they told me that they decided to get me a shirt as a birthday gift :o Even though I say no need to, they still insisted lolx.... We walked about in there for a while, then seeing as there were no interesting movies, then I suggested Mind cafe (ever since Bixia mentioned it in her blog, I was really interested to go there haha, 'cuz I love boardgames!! Just ask Farah and Prata), so there we go, next stop: Dhoby Ghaut.

There, at P.S, we decided on the shirt that I want... lolz, Dharf kept telling me not to look at the price of it (so ya, I didnt do so throughout) wahahha... After a while of pondering, we decided on getting me this nice brown Flesh Imp shirt.... really suits my jeans. =) Lolz.... I feel so paiseh leh haha... Thanks all! ^^ After a short while, then Weijie joined us, and we headed down to Mind Cafe.... when we reached there, (I think) it was nearly 4, turns out the place was really full... the cashier there told us there won't be place for us until about 5.30-6, so we placed a reservation then we go to Paradiz Centre to have lunch (Benson and I didnt had anything since we woke up lolx) and chat/talk crap at Subways. =P

The Mindcafe people called Bixia at around 5+ liddat. Just nice as I finished my sandwich sia lol =O. There we played several games lolx.... It was really fun and interesting! Really can let loose and destress there sia! LOLx, poor Weijie kena 2 forfeits... hahahaha.... Looking forward to go there again ^^

After that, we dispersed into 2 groups as WJ and Benson decided to watch soccer at Singapore Pools instead... Omg, the room was so filled with people... I dun wan to imagine them shouting GOAL!!!!!!!... haha... Then left us 3 (Bixia, Dharf, me)... we decided to have our dinner at Kopitiam @ P.S... then we just walk around a bit, then go arcade... we played a bit of Photohunt, and after that Dharf played DrumMania (ehh correct anot ar?).

Lolx, Dharf, so sorry I didnt do much in the arcade bleah =P We went home shortly after that.

So ya everyone, I really want to say thanks for the outing and I really appreciated it. I especially want to thank you all for the thought of getting me a present! But most importantly, I really hope that all of us had fun yup. =)

As I think about the outing, I want to quote something during the outing:

Me: Ehh, really feel paiseh about you all deciding to get me a present leh, haha
Bixia: No need la, we're friends mah~

When I think about that line, I really felt this overwhelming sensation inside me... Like felt a sudden urge to cry... I really felt so moved by you all! Noooo Nooo I'm not exagerrating, I'm serious! Lolx >.<

Well, I think that is everything (omg, bloody hell, why I go write compo sia... I shd learn hw 2 keep 2 short and sweet next time round -_-)

That said...

Oei, Dharf, I'm getting you a birthday present when your birthday comes haha. What kind of present I have in mind, you'll see that day. =P

Some thoughts these past few days

2007-08-24T20:57:00.000+08:00

Happy belated 19th birthday to me~ Haha...
But wow, my parents totally clean-cut forgotten about my birthday.

But I guess never mind lah, at least some of my friends still rmb haha... That is good enough. Thx all~ =)

A lot of things have been going through my mind recently...

Particularly unjustified seemingly loss of a friend (in other words, I'm not too sure if we are still friends, but the feeling im getting feels like we are no longer so), and the hypocrisy of some others of my so-called friends.

Recently, for a brief period of time, I even experienced this build-up of anger, disappointment and assorted negative feelings. Not the trival kind, but the kind which makes you want to go berserk and destroy whatever dares remotely hurt me with malicious intents. Destroy until no more of them is left. Killing intent.

If people find that getting attention from me is annoying and just wants me to leave them alone (i.e. sever tie), they should just be honest and tell me straight.

Haha guess what, congratulations, this certain emo-gothic-whatever person (not related to the paragraph about unjustified seemingly loss of a friend), yeaaaa... you succeeded very well in getting rid of my friendship, well done, I salute you. But in the end it's not my loss, it's your loss. You will NEVER receive a helping hand from me again. 'Cos you don't deserve it.

Bahh. I hate hypocrisy and liars. These kind of people should die. -_-

2007-07-30T03:37:00.000+08:00

I feel so lazy 2 update. -_-

Squier Stratocaster has gone to a new owner.... deary, you have served me well for the past 1yr 8mths..... getting me from a beginner to the point of a guitarist which has developed the ability to play fast... You will always be remembered. =)

(29/12/05-31/7/07)

Selling off Red Dimarzio Nylon Cliplock for $25
Selling off Ibanez Infinity 4 Humbucker for $20
Ibanez Toneblaster 25 reserved for $95.

If all goes well I'll have a saving of $335.

All for a new amp. Enter Ibanez Toneblaster X 30R ($350 without discount).

I hope I can bring the price down more than the standard 20% discount...

Let's say if I can bring the price down to $260-$270 instead of just $280... I'll be able to still have $65-75 spare cash.

Next up...

I know I'm damn broke now, but if I can save up... IF.

I want to get an Ibanez RG1527.

Target: 4 years.

How much does it cost? $1750 w/o discount. Damn good price for a high-end instrument haha.

Color in the above pic is not very accurate though... looks a bit greenish, but the actual finish seems gorgeous... Enter Royal blue.

1 guitar w/ Locking trem is quite a lot to care for already though.

Though with the 7-string I have but 1 thing to say....

IT"S ALL ABOUT THE LOW-B (STRING)!!! =x

Hmmm

2007-06-27T13:22:00.000+08:00

Here's I'm sitting in front of the school computer, ~~surfing the net and lazing~~ doing presentation slide for presentation next week haha.

Hmmmm.... I'm happy to say Im playing more frequently nowadays, I'm feeling rather creative as of late too.

This week and possibly next week I'll be practising Overture 1928 by Dream Theater.

Even better if I practise until I nail the song down, then I'll try afterlife, tho the solo is umm...... fingerlabour intensive.

Cheers~

P.S. I better write down some song ideas I have to compose.....

Gelato Legato:
A song with mostly, if not all legato playing with lead. Using lydian sounds good.
Need to observe Satch's playing more. Plan on making it sound jazzy+bluesy. I mean, Gelato makes you think of satisfication and warmth in yourself (i don't mean the Gelato, I mean how you feel when you eat a delicious serving of it).

Final Hours Of A Warrior:
Epic song. Orchestric drumming. Might need Zul's help about this.

How it flows:
Gentle harp playing as intro
Power chords
Marching drums
Power chords
Lead Solo over powerchords for most part, developing into a powerful apex.
Climax
Repeat Intro

Instruments:
Guitar
Keys (for orchestral/harp)
Drums
Bass

2007-06-15T12:03:00.000+08:00

Regina Jr reloaded. =)
A few friends has really let me down in recent times... do nt wish to mentino who tho..

Reflections

2007-06-12T23:16:00.000+08:00

I failed my NAPFA...

2.4 is a barrier to be overcome... other items no problem.

sigh, sad.

2007-05-30T15:32:00.000+08:00

Napfa coming in 2 weeks.... beginning intensive training.

Daily (constant):
Minimise intake of oily food
Increase intake of milk for protein (also use protein shake if possible)

4 days of:
Minimum 2 days of running, Minimum distance per run: 2km
Daily 40 pushups 80 situps, probably done in 4 batches.

After that:
3 days of:
Minimum 2 days of running, Minimum distance per run 2.5km
Daily 60 pushups 100 situps, 4 batches total.

After which:
3 days of:
Daily 3km run, 80 pushups 120 situps, 4batches total.

Remaining:
Light/Moderate exercises
30 push-ups, 3 batches of 10.
Achieve at least Grade D in sit-up,3x daily
2 days of rest or very light exercise, proper diet. Eat well.

I don't have time man...

Lets see....

To get a silver... I need at least grade D every item and min 15 points...

-Sit-up I need minimum 34 (2 pt)(Gold target: 37, 3 pt)

-Standing board I should be able to score within "B" (4 pts)

-Sit-N-Reach I dunno if I lose the touch, but I should try to hit 3/4 pts.

-Chin-up currently I can do 3. I need to push myself, & train to be able to

manage min 5. (2 pts) (Gold target: 7, 3 pt)

-4x10m I was able to hit 9.9 sec in sec4 (5 pts), dunno if I've lost the touch though..

aim for 3 pts (Gold Target: 5 pts)

-Heres a critical part: I need to score 12:30 or below for 2.4km. (2 pt)

(Gold Target: 11:40, 3pt)

The problem here is I'll have major problems with Chin-up, Sit-up, and 2.4km.

The 3 others I should be able to pass with ease (provided I keep myself fit enough)

Wish me luck. I'll need it.

Total: Min D, 16 pts.

I think if I push myself hard enough I can get a gold, but thats secondary.

Main objective is Silver.

FYP day 2

2007-05-29T17:01:00.000+08:00

I'm so dead.

Let's see...
-$4K budget...
-Objective is to design and develop chain drive for wheeled sumo robot.

Know I shouldnt complain since there are people around doing much more complicated projects than what I'm assigned to...

But man... I think I'm the only ME student in this lab...... feels very lost.

I dunno what to do, seriously.

THIS IS SO FREAKING F***ED UP!

Update

2007-05-24T23:08:00.000+08:00

Last day tomorrow and time to celebrate!

... What, no one else's going to celebrate with me?

These few weeks feels so lonely and quiet.

Argh, I want an outing =(

Even got a few strains of white hair le.

Sigh...

Anyway people, I've put up a playlist of some of my favourite songs, I'll upload more when I have the time but for now this should suffice.

Listener's Warning:
As I am - Metalheads' zone. Do not listen if you feel that it will be too heavy for your liking.
Love Thing - Safe for all listeners, very melodic song.
Acid Rain - Safe for all listeners, nice tempo... good for jogging. =P

Coming soon:
Far Beyond The Sun
Icarus Dream Suite Opus 4
Rising Force
Seventh Sign
Hollow Years

Peace out.

Update of update: IAP IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOO!!!!!

Update

2007-05-18T20:35:00.000+08:00

Fever's gone! But the throat infection is still there and its annoying as hell. Painful. -_-

7 days to end of IAP!!!

And yeah, put a new song on my blog.

Dream Theater's As I am!

Precautionary measure: if its too heavy for you, click stop before it goes into the 1st power chord!

The lyrics are very meaningful to me, the music is very head-bangable!

Teaches me not to let people take advantage of you and stuff.

As I Am
[Lyrics by John Petrucci]

Don't
Tell me what's in
Tell me how to write
Don't tell me how to win
This fight
Isn't your life
It isn't your right
To take the only thing that's
Mine
Proven over time

It's over your head
Don't try to read between the
Lines
Are clearly defined
Never lose sight of
Something you believe in

Takin' in the view from the outside
Feeling like the underdog
Watching through the window
I'm on the outside
Living like the underdog
I've been trying to justify you
In the end I will just defy you
To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fit your plan, Take me as I am

As I am!

Still Running uphill
Swimming against the current
I wish I weren't so
Fucked
Feels like I'm stuck
Lost in a sea of mediocrity
''Slow down,
You're thinking too much
Where is your soul?''
You cannot touch
The way I Play
Or tell me what to say
You're in the way
Of all that I believe in

Takin' in the view from the outside
Feeling like the underdog
Watching through the window I'm on the outside
Living like the underdog
I've been wasting my breath on you
Open minds will descend upon you

To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fit your plan, take me as I am

(Mindblowing solo)

To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fit your plan, take me as I am

As I am!

Yea!

As I am!

2007-05-12T17:44:00.000+08:00

I've been awake since nearly 7am..... and this flu/cold that I got has been bothering since then... feel so horrible... 38+ºC fever sp annoying!!!!!!! Panadol isnt doing much summore -_-. Only helped to block off 2 hours of fever.

Anyway, thinking about it... I'd like to take this opportunity to say that I'm grateful to have my sworn brothers (Zul/BlackMoo, Khairul/Gitarrenspieler,and Esaendree/Prataman), as well as my closer friends (Some poly-classmates here and there, Bixia, Helen, Shirley (Kwek), Dharfianto, Farah and whoever I missed out (sorry if I did lolx =x) ard, as well as a couple of my old time primary school friends (despite the gap in our friendship now as compared to last time):
BigBird (Daniel) Tay and Victor Haha..

Yeah, it's time to move on and throw away that old self of mine... =)

P.S. Dharf when are you goin to tag me for the 6 weird things thingy????? -_-

P.P.S Guitartalk

Yay, got my allowance for this month le... fullblown 450 sia!
So I got about 265 left so far... (75 to each of my parents, 35 on two large canadian pizzas)

What am I going to do with my leftovers?

Up to 100: Ibanez Delay/Echo Pedal
About 60: Rewiring of my Ibanez guitar and installation of HAS-Viper and Breed Neck

Leaves me with 105...
25 - Guitar Maintenance (Strings for example)
At least 50 - Save up
Rest: For myself to spend? =P
Thats about it. Cant wait for IAP to finally end!!! I miss NYP foodcourt's spicy ramen...

P.P.P.S Paiseh Farah! >.< Post updated!
P.P.P.P.S Khairul bro spelling updated!

Update on last post, plus a song

2007-05-07T22:50:00.000+08:00

Yup, Im feeling better now.... found the reason for the 2nd person I was talking about in my last post.

Seriously, I really feel sorry for her and quite angry at the bf.

And now, another of my favourite song, Liquid Tension Experiment's Acid Rain! Urge everyone to give it a listen/watch despite the genre of music you'd normally listen to!

P.S. happy 2nd birthday to sunrise, sunset, and sunshine!

Feeling blue and thinking back

2007-05-05T15:12:00.000+08:00

I know very well that I have but only a fraction of friends compared to most other people I know... hence I emphasise on how close I am to my current group of friends...

Sometimes I also feel like a very misunderstood person... other times, I feel as if most people I know are just using me.

If people are curious about how come I'm so introverted... you see...

I've been bullied by classmates since primary 1... and it only got worse when I started secondary school, but part of which I can do nothing but blame at my ignorance, immaturity. The very ignorance and immaturity which motivates some guy who proclaim himself "Jesus's reincarnation" to constantly torture me for the next 4 years to come. I was really asking for it eh?

As if thats not enough, I got made use of by a guy whom I really believed to be my friend. Everything went awry and I got abandoned after I got squeezed out of what Im worth to him.

I seeped deep into deep deep depression during the 4th quarter of secondary 3, but by a strange twist, I somehow gained motivation to live on (I wont say what it is, but a few friends knows exactly what I meant)...

Slowly recovering and getting knocked back a few ten-steps back constantly during Sec 4, I finally felt immerse relief as we all stepped out of the hall from our last O level paper, as it means I no longer have to suffer all these crap.

Yes, people, 10 years of constant bullying. Summing it all up, I'm somewhat physiologically scarred. But ever since I came to poly, I can feel that I'm very slowly but surely opening up bit by bit.

Still, from times to times, I blamed myself for my continued ignorance. As I made follies even in poly.... I swear to try my best to control myself.

Now there's that.

Onto a different matter but seemingly related.

I don't know why. I seriously don't know why. But 2 of my friends, just ignored me for no reasons. I definitely have done nothing to them.

1 of them was a friend from primary5/6... classmate. Somehow managed to find her via friendster. Ever since march last year. She just ignored me for no reasons. No reasons at all. Can't even be bothered to respond to my email asking what did I do.

The other... normally we talked... okok what.... but since 3 weeks ago, she no longer bothered to reply to my SMS. Is this really how she would treat a friend who decided to help her when she asked for it? I have faith that she ain't like that at all, but somehow I'm starting to believe she is.

Seriously, I did nothing... so why people still do this to me...?

All I really just ask for is an explanation behind all these. Yet these people just don't... I can't help but feel very bothered by these matters. People don't do things for no reason just like that.

P.S. if you are a reader of these blog, you are neither of the abovementioned 2 person. No worries.

And lastly, lyrics and a video for one of my favourite Dream Theater song: Afterlife
Video's at the bottom of the post. After lyrics.

I touched with one
who made me run
away from my own soul...
In this world with its
many illusions
We are moving like mice through a maze

And now I find
what's left behind
has served to make me whole
full of doubt, deception, and delusion
seeking purpose to all earthly days

I search within
beneath a skin
that bears both pleasure and pain
In a world full of constant confusion
I will not be a par to the craze

In the Afterlife
will dark be bright?
will cold be warm?
will the day have no night?
In the Afterlife?
will the blind have sight?
In the Afterlife

Behind closed eyes
some comfort lies
In knowing the truth never spoken
Through this world with us
hidden conclusion
we'll keep moving like mice through
a maze

In the Afterlife
will dark be bright?
will cold be warm?
will the day have no night?
In the Afterlife?
will the blind have sight?
In the Afterlife

In the Afterlife
will dark be bright?
will cold be warm?
will the day have no night?
In the Afterlife?
will the blind have sight?
In the Afterlife

Countdown

2007-04-30T06:54:00.000+08:00

4 more weeks.... anyone in school gg 2 hold a welcome-back party? hahaha...

I've no idea what is going on, but several people in my life just suddenly seems to treat me very coldly all of a sudden.... what is going on?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2007-04-12T00:00:00.000+08:00

To Bi Xia =)

Really glad to know that everything is okay on your side haha..... Rmb that friends will always be by your side, so just feel free to just confide in us as and when you need and feel like it...

Let's work extra hard for our final year, GAMBATEI!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I have learnt a really good lesson today. Never. Ever. EVER. take 178 if you are in a rush and your workplace is all the way in jurong/boonlay/lakeside.

Short post of worry

2007-04-11T01:29:00.000+08:00

I can't get to sleep or sleep properly since few days ago... Honestly saying, I'm feeling worried...

Hope that things are okay on your end.... please let it be...

There must be things which I can do to help...

ROAR!

2007-04-03T21:22:00.000+08:00

Im feeling okay now guys.

Turns out that the root of my worry and stuff is actually related to 2 seperate matters, rather than initially of what I thought.

Abandoned...?

2007-04-01T11:42:00.000+08:00

Now, are people going to prove me right or wrong...?

Feeling distressed

2007-03-25T02:24:00.000+08:00

After what just happened today, I feel so guilty, embarassed, and seem to also have lost my self-esteem. (Sorry Yvonne.)

Confidence, Determination, all gone. Just like that.

Seems that no matter what I do, no matter how normal I try to push myself to, people will always seperate me from them, point fingers, and label me "freak. weirdo. alien, etc.". Its a fact which I just cant seem to run away from.

Who knows... maybe for all that I know, people I know, on the outside, they treat me good, like a friend, and stuff, but when I'm not with them, they probably backstab me, talk bad about me. It has always been that way since secondary school, I'm not surprised. No matter what, I'll still and always be regarded as a freak.

Sorry that I can't lift my head up right now, sorry that I can't muster my confidence up again. For how long, I've no idea. This is a serious blow to me. However strong on the outside, inside I'm at least as fragile as the bones of an elder who lacks calcium in his diet.

Peace out.

Long time

2007-03-17T21:18:00.000+08:00

Hey, it's been ages since I last updated.

Just in case:

There will be little to no updates on the blog till after IAP~ But I'll still check the tagboard frequently!

It's been 2 weeks now...

Initially it was really hard getting used to the workplace...
-Having to wake up early morning at 6am, and have to get there by 8am. Any later that I wake up, i'll need to rush.
-19/20 people there are at least a generation older than me.
-The aircon there are freezingly cold most times.
-I end work at 5.45pm and get back home by 6.45-7pm.

But aside from the bloody location of the workplace, I somewhat like it here:
-The people here (maybe except the manager, who seems to be quite "dao") are really nice friendly people, especially the auntie working there... really appreciate her kindness.
-The job isn't too rushed
-Nothing too complicated
-And of course, the $450/Month.

Im thinking of giving my dad and mum 100 each. Then I'll be left with 250.

With the paychecks (after deducting 200), they go to makan (food is 1 of the many joys in life haha), gear (GT-2, DE7, Dimarzio Steve's Special and Breed Neck) as well as a bit of savings. 750 In total.

Judging from how things goes:
-The Pickups: <=200 (I'll buy them either 2nd hand or during 50% sale) -Pedals: <=300 (GT-2 is most likely 200, DE7 is most likely >100)
-Makan: 50 (Pampering myself =x)
-Pickup Installation: 50
-Saving: >=150

For the pickup and pedal, Im giving a generous estimation to be safe.

Well that's that. I miss meeting up with my friends.

Speaking of which, there's been some drastic changes in life:
-Probably lost 2 of my friends, but cant be bothered. 1 of them has a libido problem and Im sick of it. The other probably cut contact with me for silly reason lol.
-Prata gone NS
-Relationship between 2 of my friends (they're in BGR) got ended. Even I am not too sure of details. (To farah: If you somehow found out the new address, which is quite easy to find, sorry if you misunderstood my intentions when I say out what seems to be mean stuff)
-Etc etc.

-Did I mention someone called us IMMATURE? (Sarcasm) Ohh lookitme, Im not mature, because I've never done it before. Ohh lookitme, Im mature because I've done it with someone who's already got another girlfriend and Im so shamelessly proud of me! (/Sarcasm).

Thats the end. =)

Appreciation

2007-03-04T19:39:00.000+08:00

Hey friends... I really would like to thank y'all for coming by my blog and tag... In this time of need, I really appreciate it... Bad things are still ongoing and I have no idea how to deal with it. But I must buck up, find where my strength has ran away to.

A lot has happened during the past month, some good, mostly bad, but you get the idea.

CNY - I had lots of fun during CNY except day one... honestly, as much as it's understood mandatory, having to be in a remote part of Malaysia for nearly 18 hours without much to do is killer-boring. You don't want to imagine it.

Overall got like $357.... Slgihtly more than usual, great haul. =)

But I have no idea why I've gotten only <200 last year.

I think I spent $97, leaving me with $260. $150 to be saved up, rest for upgrading my Ibanez axe (it needs a better name. Atm it's called Regina Jr, after Zul's Ibanez RG450MMH, Regina. Why? He originally wanted my guitar's model, the RG350, but someone snatched it as he reached for it. Then he just took the one next to it. The rest is history. haha. If your curious as to why he called it Regina, look at the guitar series).

I also want to save up for a Sansamp GT-2 Preamp distortion, as well as Ibanez Delay/Echo.

So pending this year:
-Dimarzio Breed Neck and Steve's Special for the Ibanez RG.(<200 if I buy during 50%)
-GT-2 and Ibanez DE7 (up to $300 total - plan to buy 2nd hand goods)

The YJM is going to be insanely hard to save up for.

I might consider selling my 1st guitar when I get the YJM. But it's really hard to part with it, despite the substandard qualities it has.

Why I wrote that I have a crappy life:

On 1st March, I forgot my IC and I couldnt take my Basic Theory just because of that. By the time I realised, it was 20 min away from the BTT, I have no time to get back to take it. Furthermore they wouldnt allow latecomers.

The next day, I accidentally dropped my compass on the floor during my last paper and guess what, my god. The bloody thing died. Remind me to use only those made from steel. Basheer saved me, though I think I probably gotten a 0 for tht section because I drew in the wrong direction I think. Regardless, I'm confident that I'll pass.)

Honestly, I'm kind of pissed at the kind of attitude towards life one of my friend has. He's too relaxed, he spend money like water (not that extreme kind, but you get the idea), he's done immoral things (those kind of things between couples), and even to the more extreme ones (I'll tell you if you ask about it). He's got lots of good quantities, including that he's got a stable income already, but it doesnt matter if the bad quantities are really bad.

Furthermore he's going to come across the only personal thing that is still giving my life meaning.

I sincerely hope that things will go my way. Otherwise, all will be lost, I mean it. I'll completely lose my passion in life, and all that's with it. I know Im pessimistic, but I hope my friends will forgive me for all that. I realise how much better it is to be optimistic, but it's going to be hard given my current situation. I'm going to need to put up the fiercest fight ever.

Thou shall not lay your dirty hands anywhere near.

2007-03-01T18:48:00.000+08:00

I have the shittiest life. Ever.

2007-02-25T16:23:00.000+08:00

I'm completely worn out...

Moving on and on against the rest of my papers, akin to lurching like zombie despite the stress.... having a numbed mind... I'm going to fall apart very soon...

Its 4AM

2007-02-16T04:10:00.000+08:00

And I can't sleep. I feel very fatigued, distressed, distracted, worried, nervous, depressed, and mentally exhausted. Both from school and personal matters.

I can't absorb much, if anything at all, from revision. Come on.. I think 3 hours thinking to figure out just 1 question. Amazes me how some classmates can still be so relac-relac though. I need help, fast...

Trip to Sweelee

2007-02-11T18:12:00.000+08:00

Met up and went to Sweelee @ Sims Drive with my good friend (or bro) Khairul... Yea... had tons of fun...

And I just fulfiled one of my dream: That is to play a guitar with scalloped fretboard.

YNGWIE'S SIGNATURE STRAT IS FANTASTIC MAN!!!!

-The scalloping made vibratos easier
-The scalloping gave me better control on my strings
-The Super Jumbo frets are pretty good
-It already sounds great acoustically

It's harder to play yes, but I swear that the scalloping is AWESOME!

Time to save up hahaha.

Also helped Zul to get a volume pedal, good thing I decided to bring extra cash. ^^

(Later on)
Also got Khai to met with Zul.... seems that we're getting along well. G3 anyone?? Hahaha.

Thanks bros. =)

G3 baby G3 =x
-Me: YJM Signature Strat
-Zul: John Petrucci Signature Musicman
-Khai: Ibanez JEM
-???: JS Series *Anyone wanna take over the baldie?*

Short Update

2007-02-10T18:45:00.000+08:00

Haha, been in a good mood...

Why?

I kicked Cost Accounting paper's butt. =)

Also got a new handphone (thanks Dad!!) le...

Life's never been better. ;)

Now to trash the 3 remaining papers and my basic theory driving test.

Stressed like heck

2007-02-06T19:08:00.000+08:00

-CT and Exams are nearing, Im running out of time.

-My guitar's bridge pickup needs to be remedied.

-I can't save cash because I spent too much on food.

-Getting shunned (which I hope is just a misunderstanding)

Update: Still feeling like shit, though not as bad as yesterday.

Hmmm... (Geetar talk)

2007-02-04T01:00:00.000+08:00

Ibanez SA series eh..... (Only Zul will know what Im talking about for this line)

Hmm...

3-4 years later, everyone will meet my new guitar...

Either a heavily modded Alder-bodied Japanese Strat or just buy YJM Strat '07.

Heavily modded Japanese Strat:
Series: ST68-92TX
Modification:
-YJM in neck, HS-3 in bridge
-5 way switch
--Position 1: Bridge (no tone pot)
--Position 2: Bridge (connected to tone pot)
--Position 3: Neck+Bridge (connected to tone pot)
--Position 4: Neck+Bridge (not connected to tone pot)
--Position 5: Neck (No-Load Pot)

Im just crapping hahahahaha.

Seriously though, if i get the Japanese Strat, and do the mods, I could save 20% of what it would cost to get the YJM Strat, AFTER 20% Sweelee Standard Discount. I might consider though.

Back to my Strat's talk.

Turns out the split position (position 2: mid+bridge), didn't cancel hum properly because simply they were not the same pickup. What a dumbass I am lol.

Tone experiments

2007-01-26T08:19:00.000+08:00

Been playing around with the sound of my Strat and the amp...

Came up with some settings for playing one of Yngwie's song, "I'll See The Light Tonight".

Wonder whats the thoughts of others about my tone?

http://www.4shared.com/file/9537144/5609c204/Tone_test_1.html

Pretty much 3 tones
Overdriven (Clean Amp, Tubescreamer) - For playing interlude
Rhythm Distortion (Distortion Channel - very mild, Tubescreamer) - For everything except solo
Solo (Distortion Channel - higher gain, Tubescreamer, extra bit of volume)

Each setting is done 3x, 1st time between Middle And Bridge, 2nd at Bridge, 3rd at Mid.

1st setting: Clean
2nd setting: Clean Channel, TS7
3rd setting: distortion channel, TS7

Outing

2007-01-24T22:43:00.000+08:00

Woke up at around 10 today.... did housework and anything else... Left home about 2.50, and reached Cityhall at 3.20 liddat...

Met up with my friends at about 3:45 (?) then we went to Marina Square. Decided to catch "The Illusionist"... haha.

Overall the show not too bad lah.... but it's those kind of shows you need to pay a lot of attention to the details. Otherwise you won't understand the story. Quite deep. (Peiling ended up falling asleep lolx =x)

I'll rate it 3-3.5 out of a 5. =P

I won't give spoilers, but go for it only if you have:
1) time to spare
2) You want to exercise your brain ahahaa

After that we went to look about in Marina Sq... Sia lah, freezing like dunno what, should have worn long sleeve -_-'. My whole body cannot control, shaking until so jialat LOLx.

Somehow we ended up in a clothes shop, and dunno how also, I start trying on clothes... got fashion advisor somehow LOL!

So now I know, I definitely need to work out a lot, and suntan more ya. ^^

I think we went to eat at about 7++?

Shouldn't have ordered the western food... not up to standard. ._. It was then Peiling told us their western food not very nice... diaozz haha...

All of us chatted over dinner.... unfortunately I was really really dam quiet because I really dono what to talk about -____-'... Thanks for encouraging me to try to talk more though Bixia. Really appreciate it. =)

Well something happened during dinner, but I feel that I should not post it, but it's some matter about one of the girls. They were quite worried about her... I have faith, and I also hope that she'll be okay though.

So ya, we ordered dessert, somehow I got a clear jelly when I ordered Almond Jelly with Longan... (WHERE"S THE LONGAN IN THE FIRST PLACE?! LOL). Should have taken the plastic spoon. Jelly's hard to cut -_-.

We headed back to cityhall mrt station at about 9++? Cant remember. Dharfianto's going seperate ways, so we parted way, and hence go board a train back.

So ya as mentioned above, something happened and we all alighted at Yishun. They went to meet with her to chat about it.... I headed home.

S o yup, it's been a long day...

I really enjoyed our outing, lots of thanks to Bixia, Peiling, and Dharf ya. ^^ Hope to meet up again soon. =)

Signing off. =D

Strat upgrade

2007-01-18T01:37:00.000+08:00

As I mentioned before:

-Brass Nut
-DiMarzio Blue Velvet for Bridge

Going to save up $20 and change the bridge pickup. This is going to be good. =)

Brass Nut is probably going to eat up $50-$60.

Hey Khairul, cant wait for you to be back bro!

I Feel That Something is very wrong...

2007-01-16T01:43:00.000+08:00

Something very wrong is going on...

It's as if people are cutting contact with me out of the blue...

I want to know what is going on?

A short post

2007-01-12T00:17:00.000+08:00

Bad day I guess.

-A burning/sore sensation on my neck which doesnt want to go away...
-Backache
-And simply not in a good mood.

Im about to give up, but I can't. Can't afford to.

And now that I get that matter over with.

2007-01-03T03:44:00.000+08:00

New Year Resolutions:

1) Be a better guitarist
2) Be able to at least play 2 Yngwie songs
3) Be able to make pedals
4) Make more friends. =)
5) Be even friendlier
6) Save up enough money to upgrade my Strat
7) Be thriftier
8) 8th is a secret. But Im sure my closest friends know. Hahaha.

Pissed.

2007-01-03T02:00:00.000+08:00

If you are reading this, though I strongly doubt so, I have no idea what I did to make you do this. You have been ignoring me for like 7 months. Nobody can be THAT busy. Let's see. Ever since 11 May 06, you refuse to reply to my "hi"s in msn.

At first I thought "what the hell la, probably your really busy". But aftering seeing how you did not seem to bother with my testi, I think my suspicsion is confirmed.

Im not getting pissed at you ignoring me. I'm pissed because you have no reasons to ignore me. I want to know the reason that Im being ignored.

Seriously hate it when people start to avoid/ignore me without giving me a reason for their action. Ugh.

Wishing everyone...

2007-01-01T01:32:00.000+08:00

REALLY belated merry christmas, and a happy new year. Wishing every friends of mine good health, good results in their studies, and a good year ahead. =)

What a lonely New Year.

In light of current events

2006-12-05T04:21:00.000+08:00

I would like to thank all of my friends for standing by my side...

Thanks I really appreciate it...

On the other hand, Seventh Sign is up on my songlist on the blog. :)

Fantastic song alongside Rising Force and Far Beyond The Sun.

I have "I am a Viking" up too.